Sunday, July 1, 2012

Fog


Fog so dense surrounds me, 
A ray of light seems to have been lost... 

Destiny is deemed to fall upon, 
a failure is predicted in the neer future 

Sombre feelings are lost... 
so many times i feel so... 

A storm of reality just hit me, 
a wave of maturity just cast me down... 

Silence in deafening, darkness is blinding.. , 
and yet the noise is clear and the light is bright 

a flow of words ceases to exist, 
But the lines are just written along... 

Urging me to cal down is piontless 
a hurricane of contradiction confuses me 

And surporisingly i dont want to fight. 
The lion takes a final bow. 

A threat to individividuality. 
A step towards halucination... 

Life has lost all colours, 
and yet the change is so striking. 

a bleatign goat knocks on my door. 
laughs at my paultry state. 

The nakedness of piercing pain. 
astounding the divinity of warmth.. 

The chill of the fog wont subside 
a chirping insect told me so 

the sum may rise, the chill may go, 
but the fog will subside for long... 

Empathy not close enough... 
sympathy not desired 

An arm in reach, thats what i see 
but i struggle to fight without support... 

Taunts of neer ones, laughs of the distant 
Both fail to reach my heart... 

a block of ice just replaced my heart, 
another transformation not expected... 

dissapointed are those who claim, 
claim to love my ol self... 

a sense of self-pitty they try to inculcate, 
but i become heartless and cold... 

soon the ice will also be gone... 
will be replaced by a stone... 

a feeling that cannot be felt... 
a truth that cannot be expressed... 

urgency does not allow me to revert.. 
drastic measures are alrady taken 

the streched arms are gone 
the blinding light has disappeared 

fog, just fog, stays behind 
the mist suffocates me and i collapse 

Alas all are gone, 
As i bask in the sunlight of my new self 

Hunting for another stone.... 
A block of ice in the fog..... 

Just Anothr Clown

And there comes the master, 
The master of emotional disguise; 
With every sunset of sorrow, 
To a new sun he shall give rise. 

But for how long is his patience, 
ever tested and ever tried. 
Has he ever broken down? 
Soaked in tears, has he ever cried? 

The question remains unanswered, 
As to himself he has made a wow 
That he shall not break, 
With a smile he shall bow. 

And he promises to walk away, 
In a way no one shall know. 
when people think it is another joke, 
Into eternal sleep he shall go. 

Everyone says he is a clown. 
And forever a clown he shall be. 
Leaving memories bitter and sweet, 
He closed his act and no one could see.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Maa ki Chooriyan...




Boondon bhaari subah me aankh khulne se pehle
yaad aati hai wo meethi meethi awaaz
woh zindagi ko jaishe khush karna sikha rahi ho
ma ki hari hari chooriyan

bachpan me, maa ke roop me khud ko dhalna
ke sochna ki kab banu main bhi sundar
kab ho meri bhi kalaiyan bhari hui
pehne maa jaisi chooriyan 

phir na jaane kahan gayee woh awaaz
wo meethi boli chooriyon ki 
woh mehfooz ehsaas maa ke haton ka 
wo hathon me hari hari chooriya 

hai aisa kya bola tha maine
jo ma mujhse rooth gayee
mujhe de ke dooriyan itni
le gayee apni saari chooriyan 

ma main tera hun... 
hun doosron se kuchh hat ke
par hun to teara hi 
tera ansh
jisko tune inta pyaar diya tha kabhi 
aaj mera wohi astitva
mere aade aa gaya 
maa sa banne ki chah me
maine ma ko hi kho diya 

ma main jab bhi rooth jata tha 
tujhe yaad hai tu mujhe manati thi 
mere chehre ke aas paas
khankathi thi chooriyan 

mai to wasie hi manana janta hu 
chooriyon se
par tu chali gaye 
teri chooriyan hain 
par unme khanak nahi 

par maine to sirf sach kaha 
ki mere andar tujhsa kuchh hai 
mai beta sahi tera, 
par chahiye mujhe bhi chooriyan 

tu gayee
mujhe yun peeche chhor ke 
teri hansi se saja hu bachpan dhoondta hun

hathon me leke teri hari hari chooriyan

Thursday, January 26, 2012

God in his eyes


Hailing form a very conservative arya samaji family,I wud like to share a sense of restrain here today. As a child i have strong memories of my grandmother making a fuss about my liking durga puja and wanting to worship the deity. It is quite impossible to describe the feeling of being deprived. As a child one does not know depravity or a sense if rules . I saw that same feel in a little boys eyes. He was roaming with a little glass jar and being squished in the busy alleys of kumhaar tuli.

In the glam and glits of the place his voice just felt so smothered. Like the sounds of merriment choked his voice down. but he came to me and asked me " please give me some money, i will do pooja. one or two rupees is also fine i just need money to buy a small idol. My family wont let me do the pooja." Its truly said that God in in small things. I saw goddess saraswati in his eyes... I gave him ten rupees, not a huge amount but the little boys eyes shone ..... he didn't seem to be from a  very poor family but i am sure he had some restraints. i gave him a smile and with my hand i just patted his shoulder and left. But those eyes are following me.Ii do not know why this little boy reminder me of myself. This poem i dedicate to him and pray that his pooja is successful.

Hai us paar jana ke nao nahi hai mere paas
chain us par hai mera
apne eesh ke chah ko lekar 
aya tha pheeki aakhen lekar
bhar ke isme sapno ke rang mujhko ghar jane do 
mujhe apne eesh se mil pane do 

hai yeh baazaar kaisa
jisme bhagwaano ka wyaapaar hai hota
dar mulaiyon ki cheekhon se ronde
chamkeele sajawat se dhake ja ke
 kameez ke sinwaton se eesh ko sajane do 
mujhe apne eesh se mil paane do 

majma laga hua hua logon ka 
boli hai lagti bhagwaano ki 
unche damon se koi khareede aur koi saste
par mai to laya nhai ik paisa, ek rupya
mujhe apne bharose ko ek baar aazmane do 
mujhe apne eesh se mil paane do 

kapron pe silvaten to nazar aa agyi
takdeer ki silwaton ko kaise dilkhlaun 
kaisu bulaun us eesh ko apna paas 
jiska mol na deni ke ho aukaad 
mujhe us eesh ko lane ka mol kammne do 
muje apne eesh se mil paane do 

kehte hain yahan bhagwaan hai bante
to yeh swarg ho gaya hai kya? 
kya intna matlabhi swarg bhi hai hota ? 
kya wahan bhi hota mol chukana 
aaj mujhe apne achhe bure ka hisaab lagane go 
mujhe apne eesh se mil paane do 

Friday, January 13, 2012

tumhare aane ka intezaar


kuchh dil me yaadon ke samundar ki lehre...
khelti hain chhuppan chupai ka khel
jahan tumse chuup ke main hun...
par yehi ummed si lagi hai ...
ke tum jhat se mujhe dhoond lo...
bas chand ghariyan baaki...
baz kuchh hi lamhon ki aur hai guzarish....
hai dil se darkhwast... sabr thora aur kar...
ke tumhara aana hai abhi baaki....
ke yeh samajh paana abhi hai baaki
ho sakta hai ki dam bhar hi na pae...
ho sakta hai sasen kahin ruk na jae
ho sakta hai tumharee aane se duniya hi tham jaye....
ho sakta hai hum phir se muskuraye...

adhuri


aaj ki shaam kuch adhuri si hai.......
thori si khushbu kam hai......
rang bhi kuchh pheeka sa hai....
khud se baaten karna bhi kyu achha nahi lagta 
tum se baaten nhai kar paana kitna mushkil hai 
aaj ki shaam kucch adhuri si hi to hai ...
kyuki main to tumhaare hi paas hun... 
ke tumhaari hi khushbu to nahi hai aas paas....
ke rang bhi to sath hi chale gaye... 
Ke berange sii shaam me... bin hawa ke chale hue
jaise sab kuchh apni jagah se hil gaya... 
Kuchh waisa nhai lag raha 
Jaise tum the tab tha.... jaise tumaha chhua hua tha... 
Aaj ki shaam kuchh ajeeb se hai 
Kyuke ye tum hi the jis se ye adhoori nahi thi.....

barsaat


muddaten ho gayee jayse
ik chaadar tale baarish ki baahon ko phailaye
jab tumne mujhe boondon ki unglyon se chhua tha
aaj barse ho bina kisi sankoch ke 
jaise tumse meri pyaas dekhi nhai gayi
aur tumne mujhpe apna abr luta diya
taras gayi thi mai tumhare is prem ke liye 
is deewanepan bhare sparsh ke liye
 is chaader me koi ujala nahi
bas tum ho aur main hun aur thori thori sardi hai 
aur tumhaara pagalpan bhara barasta hua apnapan 
mudaaten ho gayee jaise
jab shaam or subah ek ho jaise 
jub hum dono ke sath gahri bhi chalna bhool jaye
tumhare ujaale me aur mere andhere me koi antan na rahe
jub do char boondon ki taar me tum aur mai bhandh jayen 
jaise mere sari dishayen kshitij me shoonya ho jayen 
tum bas mujhe usi naam se pukaaro 
dhara hun main par sirf tum hi ke liye 
kinto ki kitni kuchh hun par tum jante ho
ke bas tum hi ho mere apne mere sachhe 
mujhe khud me sama lene wale.... aakaash

tum bahut bure ho.....


Tum bahut bure ho....
sanjh ke waqt mujhe dukhi kar diya 
accha khaasa nadi kinare baithe the
dhalta sooraj bhi tha ... bheeni khushbi bhi
aur they hum itne kareeb...

Tum bahut bure ho...
ke tumse meri muskurahat dekhi nahi gayi
aakh khuli ke tum gayab
sang le gaye wo khushbo.. wo nadi
na hi tha doobta sooraj 

tum bahut bure ho...
bas bheegi silvaten takiye ke gilaaf pe
aur tumhari khusbu
aakhon ko tumhara thinkana nahi maaloom
par dil kehta hai tum ho

tum bahut bure ho....
ke tumhre wajah se mere aakhon ne dil se bair kiya 
aakhen kehti daras na hai 
dil  kehta meri nazar se dekh 
ab mai kise kya samjahun ?

tum bahut bure ho...
jana hi tha to mujhe sath poora le jate
aadha karaar kya le kar gaye 
milk kar bhi milte hi to nahi ho
bas mere takiye pe nishan chhore jaate ho....